The Individual vs. The Collective

After having lost the main source of inspiration for my first blog, I have had succumb to the natural order of things and start over. So here it is: Pure Failure. I oftentimes find myself being very critical of pretty much everything around. If someone says something that makes my brain hurt, it is my obligation, nay, it is my duty to help them realize that they should never, ever say that again. Inasmuch as I loathe the stupidity of pretty much everything around me, I have embarked on a zealous crusade to manifest to all, the things that are Pure Failure.

It is simply incredible that there are so many individuals that have achieved so much. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone; where would we be without his genius contributions to society? Inevitably, we would be doomed to personally visit people and converse with them face to face. Could you imagine the horrors that would befall us if we were reduced to that? We can't forget about the pride of Hungary: Laszlo Biro. Without this man's penchant for dreaming up the impossible, we would be stuck with dipping feathers into inkwells in order to correspond to all of our fan mail. Thank you Laszlo for inventing the ballpoint pen. And lastly, Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee. Without him, we would be without the world wide web. If he were to never invent the internet, we would still have to remember real house addresses rather than those that start with WWW. Our endless supply of online amusement, from pornography to pornography, would no longer be at the tip of our fingertips and we would no longer have the chance to lie about ourselves on social networking sites. Truly I am thankful for the efforts of all those who have invented things that improve our quality of living.


If individually we can achieve anything, collectively we can achieve nothing. People as a whole are prone to constant acts of idiocy. Why is it that we regress in intelligence when we gather together in groups. In fact, the more people congregate, the more they devolve into a useless conglomeration of unintelligible, babbling baboons. What causes this phenomenon? The answer is right in front of us...celebrities.

We, as a collective group of idiots, waste our monetary income in order to be entertained. It isn't enough that we have Dish Network with it's 476,000 channels of quality television programming, or the fact that we can rent RedBox movies for free using those handy codes. Instead we need something more. Who cares that celebrities already do ridiculously easy jobs for a nauseating amount of money; we instead need to watch them act when they in fact aren't acting. We allow ourselves to actually care about which Olson twin is addicted to beef fajitas and flan. We open ourselves up to be interested in the love lives of those crappy actors that do nothing but make crappy movies. Remember Anna Nicole Smith? She got famous because she callously married a decrepit yet lively old man that had lots of money. She realized the American Dream of putting a toxic amount of silicone in one's body in order to be thought of as attractive. When her quality life ended, every news channel in existence were considerate enough to actually ram it down our throats in place of actually meaningful news, like when Achmed is going to pick up his homemade bomb and strap it to his chest and blow up people just for being American. Was that the right choice? Probably not for those who were accidentally in Achmed's way.

I hereby issue an edict that all celebrities are now known as Pure Failures. No longer will we waste our existence hunkered in front of the T.V. desiring nothing more than to know what Britney Spears' sister is going to name her new hamster. No more of those seemingly clever names that are given to celebrity couples where you combine their names to get one really deplorable cutsie name. I propose that as individuals who value intelligence, self-worth, and hard work, that we should pay no heed to the celebrities that do nothing but lower our collective IQ. Because when we allow ourselves to be caught up in celebrities fickle problems and relationships, we our doing nothing but dooming ourselves to the inevitable end of becoming part of a society where value is based on how many times you have gone to rehab rather than how you have actually contributed meaningfully to society.